March 25, 2008

Coming soon to an Ebay auction near's Cheesus!

Seriously? I mean, seriously?

Is this news? Did this "youth minister" really call up the ol' local station and say, "I've Found my Cheetos!"? I'm sure he took time out of his busy schedule of "bein' relevant" and "buildin' relationships" for this hard hitting piece of journalism:

Some highlights:

  • "First I thought it was a dog, but then it looked like Jesus."...heaven forbid you eat the Son of Man while mistaking Him for a canine. I'm sure the disciples had the same problem of mistaken identity at the resurrection.
  • Did he lose a bet to the two students in there, or did he bet them that he could get them on TV?...nice Lt. Dan reference from Stubby McBeard. Shout out to 1996!
  • How long did it take him to make that carrying case?...I'm sure the ladies in the craft section of the local Wal-Marks knew just the right thing for him.
  • Do "youth ministers" really have to strain that hard to find some spiritual relevance to every single thing from pop culture?...see kids, even Chester Cheetah is down with the JC!
Finally, to paraphrase the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas where "Jesus" is in his best, pantheistic form: "Split open a piece of wood and my name is there. Turn over a stone and you will find me there. Rip into a bag of totally kickin' Cheetos, and darned if you won't find me hanging out. Peace in the Middle East. I'm out ya'll."

No comments: