July 11, 2008

Life in Mississippi (Part 2)--Satan is Dead!

Sorry for the hiatus, but the slow days of summer have not been so slow. The blog is really picking up some steam with that last post (thanks to the reader in Reno, NV who forwarded my last post to everyone on the West Coast!). I thought that this would be a nice follow-up...

OK...let me first start off by saying this: I am all for people using creativity to get people in front of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This is just the first time that I've ever seen a funeral for Satan held to reach that end.

New Hope Baptist Church in Greenville, MS apparently held said funeral back in May 2006. (This begs the question of who's been causing all of the evil since then...Billy Joe from Green Day, I'm looking in your direction...) I have no details other than what you just saw, but one can only imagine what Satan's funeral would look like.

First of all, who's preaching that thing? When you're a pastor, they teach to neither preach someone into heaven or condemn them to Hell. I guess you can break that rule in this instance. Also, you usually say some pretty nice things about the deceased at funerals. How's that working for Lucifer? You'd have to think that it would be a celebrity affair with an A-list crowd...Marylin Manson, G.W.A.R., Anton Levey, Martha Stewart, all the kids on those Disney channel shows, etc.. I'm guessing someone does an organ version of "Runnin' With the Devil", "Sympathy for the Devil", or "Wind Beneath My Wings". And what about the burial...do you cremate him? That might be a little redundant. Flowers would probably be black roses, poison ivy, kudzu and ragweed. Pallbearers would have to N'Sync (minus Justin Timberlake), Vanilla Ice, and Lil' Jon. All of those guys had to have sold their soul to him to have the kinds of careers that they did based on their talent.

Getting back to the video, how about that chalk outline? Who know that Satan was a large being with geometrically accurate limbs and body parts...and horns. I know we work hard to understand the allegory of the book of Revelation, but I've got to be honest...I don't think anyone was laying money on Greenville, MS as the site of the Battle of Armageddon. Take that Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins! Since Jesus and his "army of Christian [sic]" came in and "slaugthered" ol' Scratch, you'd think there'd be a little more blood, but hey...who's an expert on the phyisiology of the lord of the demons.

All kidding aside, I hope the church got what they wanted out of it. I've never been charged to get into a funeral, but then again, I've never been to a celebrity funeral either. It's good to know that the children are safe in Greenville. This gives new life to the song "Sing to the King" where it says, "Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King."

Click here for the first installment of the "Life in Mississippi" series.


davisseal said...

I wonder if it was an open casket funeral? There's obviously a body, since they made a chalk outline of it. Of course, since they're charging $10, they are probably serving food which wouldn't be pleasant with the open casket. But I'm sure they've thought everything completely through.

poypoy09 said...

satan is dead. Period.